Enough. It’s a funny word, isn’t it? Because despite it being ‘enough’ – it never really is.
“Have you had enough to eat?” – Yes, but I can always squeeze in a chocolate biscuit.
“Do you earn enough?” – Yes, but I’d be happier with a bit more, I’d love to buy a house/yacht/holiday home (edit as applicable).
“Enough is enough!” – Understood, but can we push the limits just one more time to see?
Until a coaching session today, I didn’t realise how much the word ‘enough’ impacts almost everything I do.
These are just some of the questions I’ve been asked today;
Why don’t you stand up for yourself? Because I don’t think I know enough. I’ll wait until I’m fully clued up on the subject before I get involved in that discussion. I just need to read more books.
What about your business scares you? That I’m not qualified enough. I’ll level-up my business when I have more qualifications… maybe a doctorate – that’ll show I’m skilled enough.
Why don’t you get back to pole dancing? Because I’m not strong enough, I’ll just keep doing pole conditioning until I’m ready.
Why do you cover your stomach by folding your arms? Because I’m not slim enough, I just want to lose a bit more fat then surely I’ll have the confidence to wear whatever the hell I like.
The problem is, that day (for any of those events) is never going to happen. Whatever milestone I set, will never quite be – wait for it – enough.
Ultimately, this all boils down to not feeling good enough. So how do you shift from scarcity mindset to the cup runneth over? All the while, still having that drive and ambition to not feel like you’re settling?
The key is differentiating between the two. Settling is sacrificing. Enough is comfortably content and deserves gratitude.
Ultimately, enough means being content and taking comfort in contentedness enables you to be your true self.
Your Full Self Is Enough
Too often, enough doesn’t take into account the whole of you. Instead, it looks at the areas you feel are lacking/needing improvement. The mindset shift is to learn to accept that what you have right now is good and that it’s still OK to strive for more, as long as that’s not at the detriment to your present self.
It’s natural to have days where your confidence may take a knock, or you feel there is a competency or skill that needs a little fine-tuning. But remember, when you are content in what your whole self has, you have a safety cushion that allows you to take stock, find gratitude and regroup. What’s more, this comfort can also give you the courage and confidence to strive for a little bit more, if you want to.
So, from now on, I’m going to learn to take comfort in what I have. Then use that comfort to ask myself the scary questions of why something doesn’t feel enough before it sends me down the dark rabbit hole of diffidence.
*Diffidence – “shyness resulting from a lack of self-confidence” My new favourite word.